dude, i look like john mccains neck right now
Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
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