Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
I had to explain to the waiter that I'm not the DD because I can't drive, but as the Designated 'Make Sure No One Gets Roofied Or Hit By A Car On The Walk Home'-er, I should still get the free drinks.
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
You know you're baked when you feel your throat closing up from an allergic reaction to the pecans in the cookie you're eating but you keep eating the damn cookie.
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
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