Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
When you're all settled in, text me, and I can sorta apologize for saying that your phone can suck my dick. What I really meant to say is that your Windows phone can suck my Android phone's dick.
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
