..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
Ya’ll! My debit card got switched with my boss’ at lunch today (both Red Wells Fargo)....I realized it at whole foods AFTER I ran it for $100 at Vanity Room getting my vaj waxed 🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️. Most awkward IOU ever tomorrow.
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
Randomize