Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
I'm in that weird half-dead, half fucked-simultaneously-in-every-orifice-by-a-bus-and-it-wasn't-a-good-time state.
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
He’s going to a lawnmower race. I got a Brazilian and he’s racing a lawnmower race. Pick me up. I’m not wasting this waxing on John Deer
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