Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
They can be so fun, drunk bruises are like clues to the treasure of what actually happened last night. "why do I have a bruise on my belly button? oh right. i was trying to turn my stomach off so I would stop throwing up."
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
Randomize
