She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
He's trying to marry me, when is the appropriate time to tell him my real name and that Dallas is a completely fictitious slutty alter ego? I need the advice of someone with morals.
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
He literally shoved the EMT, climbed in the back of the ambulance with his vodka and was like, "C'mon, people. Wrap this up. I got shit to do."
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
Randomize
