Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
Sitting in airport bathroom. Guy walks into toilet next to me and announces "I want to apologize to the entire airport for what I'm about to do"
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
Randomize
