You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
My mother walked into the bathroom at 345 am while I was splashing in the bathtub with the remnants of her birthday cake all over me... she looked at me and walked out...
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
Randomize
