She said her name was "party"
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
I have tasted many bathrooms
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
Randomize
