I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
please don't ironically join a cult
Randomize
