I wish i was in the wii world.
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
I went to bed early to get up and have a cup of coffee and watch a Sunday sunrise; and again you come home with no shirt and more stamps than my passport. Get the fuck up now, you are taking an Uber to waffle house. The order is in you name.
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
Randomize
