btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
Bring a bathing suit and your good liver.
My good liver is still at the dry cleaners. Will my backup liver suffice?
Maybe
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
Randomize
