I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
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