Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
I woke up with flowers, a tiara & pasta salad in my bed. Tequila makes me act like a fat Disney princess
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Randomize
