Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
My dog ate my bag of weed. Thats not the easiest call to the vet to make.
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
It came up in court that I told the arresting officer my name was Thomas Jefferson, and I was born in 1776. I almost kept a straight face. Almost.
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
Randomize
