trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
Gay?
German.
Pity.
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
Randomize
