he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
Sooo, drunk me had the sense of mind to write down everything that happened last night.....I bet you thought you'd get away with what you did to my parrot.
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
So I have the hangover from hell, spent all night puking, and there's a septic tank truck parked outside the house literally pumping shit. You win God.
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
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