Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
I remember reading the word "lift" so I did. The alarn went off, and I thought to myself "what dumbass pulls the fucking fire alarm?" and then I realized it was me...
Randomize
