Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
I am a murderer. I ran over so many baby frogs. I wanted to stop and pick some up to take home, but all I have is a wine bottle. I'd hate to explain that to a cop.
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
Randomize
