This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
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