I hope I'm pregnant just to spite you.
Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
Randomize
