Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
Last night she showed me how to clean my bowl and now she's drunk making peanut butter filled cookies. Best. Roommate. Ever.
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
That's how pantless uber rides happen
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
Randomize
