You work out of a Hotel?
She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
On the bright side, nobody died. Please bring me back my left shoe. I have work in an hour.
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
The bank teller laughed at me....I'm apparently that fucking hungover looking
All I wanted was my $85. Judgement free. But nooooo
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
I think drinking White Russians at half past four in the afternoon is perfectly acceptable. I'd bought a LOT of milk and cream that needs to be used up. Resourceful, check, fuckable, check. You have a great girlfriend here pal.
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
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