I realized as I was wesiging my engamemby ring that you'd never love me tha same. I have life plans and Sam showed them to me
What? You're not speaking real words.
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
Randomize
