I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
my brother wants to know why there are wet balloons in his bed and i think you forgot to throw the condoms away but im too hungover to check if thats what hes talking about
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
I went to the obgyn with chipped nail polish.. Somewhere Beyonce was looking down, shaking her head, whispering "Not fierce."
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
Randomize
