Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
TRUE LIFE: my roommate is growing a bush.
better yet, TRUE LIFE: my roommates boyfriend begged her to grow a bush.
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
Randomize
