You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
Your children are clinging to me like my teets are full of bountiful milkiness. They're driving me nuts. I felt my uterus shrivel up.
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
Randomize
