the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
My girlfriend is studying for the MCAT by watching The Magic Schoolbus. There go my dreams of being a househusband.
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
This is a friendly reminder to try not to shit on the toilet seat. If our 4 year old can manage it, I think you can too.
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize
