margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
Your topless pictures make me question reality
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
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