I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
I accidentally threw away from slim jim and some lady saw me dig it out of the garbage. It was unopened but still, I look so homeless.
I wish i was in the wii world.
Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
captain morgan taught me last night that resee's puffs are way better when eaten straight out of the sink.
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
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