so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
Dude at the bar last night came into the bathroom, drop kicked the stall open and start saying lines from happy Gilmore as he was shitting, "go in your home! Are you too good for your home?!"
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
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