Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
So hung over, I told one of the candidates she's hired if we can turn the lights off and take a nap instead of doing her interview. I feel like she has potential.
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
Of course I have a pirate flag
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
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