i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
dude my little brother busts into my room last night and yells did you know that grandma is hiding scrambled eggs between her legs
So im on with some ukrainian stripper for a vodka tasting tomorrow. If I die tell my family im awesome
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
Fuck twitter. Fuck men. Fuck bras. Fuck flip flops. Fuck makeup. Fuck perfume.
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
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