So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
You were on the drunk bus swinging around on the pole when you decided you were hungry, so you pulled half a bagel out of your pants and ate it. Everyone stared at you, dumbfounded as to where it came from, and cheered
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
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