He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
My cleaning lady broke my bubbler. It's awkward between us now.
Why?
Because she knows I do drugs and I know she's a clumsy bitch.
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
Randomize
