literally had 100 drinks last night.
I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
It’s 830 am and the amount of Valentine’s Day snaps I’ve already seen makes me either want to vom, drink a bottle of wine, or buy chocolate
1000% No lie I was just looking on insta and was thinking about taking a bottle of wine to the face..
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
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