the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
I just got hit by a car. I'm fine; I'll be to the bars in about 15
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
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