so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
My financial advisor filed my girlfriend's abortion under "investments" so my wife wouldn't find out
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
The little girl I babysit saw pink plastic shot glasses in my car and asked what they were for and I told her they were princess teacups.
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
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