Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
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