...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
Wow my largely unnecessary pool of lizard-related knowledge finally came in handy. Are you proud?
I don't know what to say
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
Omg I joined a choir last night...
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
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