Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
I don't think I can fit "I'm sorry for ruining Christmas" on one cake. Better make two.
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
Randomize
