i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
Being hungover in this office is the actual worst. Like they look at me and know I was wasted at 1 am, karaokeing Billy Idol at a gay bar.
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
Randomize