Duck Duck Cougar?
i just used shampoo as lube. why? because i'm worth it.
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
Randomize
