so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
When she e-mailed me back asking for proof, complete with hospital intake records, I just told her it was a home-birth. I'm prepared to take the fail.
Someone left a beer in front of your door...there's a note with it that says "peace offering"
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
Randomize
