Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
I baptized my dog in my pool last night because he snapped at my party guests, how was your night?
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
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