Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
Randomize
