Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
As I was buying milk at the market, the lady at the checkstand said, "what? No alcohol today?" have I really earned THAT reputation?
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
How I know that I'm single: when I get a save the date for a wedding & I read "& guest" my first thought was does my bottle of Jack Daniels count.
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Randomize
