Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
MY TWIN SISTER IS ENGAGED. I REPEAT, MY SCREW UP OF A SISTER IS ENGAGED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I'll be there in 20 with vodka.
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
Randomize
