I'm driving in the middle of nowhere, and I just saw a stuffed Barney hanging from a noose on a tree. Maybe I should turn around.
You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
Randomize
