I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
Randomize
