Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
Why are all the lights on in my house? Every single one. Someone should turn them off but I'm the only one here and I'm sure as hell not doin it.
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
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