So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
You broke her grandpas urn and ran your hand through his ashes claiming it was pixie dust. I think thats why shes mad at you..
I take back everything I said about communal showers
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know.
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
Gotta go, there’s a chick at my door that wants to give me head
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