it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
Guess who just stumbled into work hungover, wearing yesterday's clothes, covered in hickeys and glitter, and carrying a giant bottle of rum in her purse.
I just took plan B at work.
This is the greatest story of all time.
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