woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
Randomize