what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
Thanks for loaning me your shower and panties. My hubby is awesome, but I shouldn’t go home commando, smelling like lube and sperm again
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