I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
This bowl is so big, I just said out loud, "I'm going to die here" as I blew smoke out the cat door. Merry fucking Christmas.
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
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