it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
My 8 year old wants to name our new cat "fur burger". how do i explain that this is not really appropriate?
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
I'm praying that the company stray cat shows up tomorrow. I think I may have hit it while leaving Friday. Nobody will believe it was an accident after I hit the last one.
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
Randomize