i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
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