recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
My mom gave me a high five when I told her I was just using him for sex
You and your mom would make an amazing tag team
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
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