I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
I'm watching Terminator eating a jar of marshmallow fluff. Trust me, you are not fat.
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
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