my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
Randomize
