What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
Just invented taco cereal.
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
I met my future wife last night. She's a bombshell from Delaware, hates Trump, and humiliated two old men in a GOP healthcare debate while simultaneously convincing them to pick up both of our bar tabs.
Randomize
