Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
So I told her I dislocated my shoulder and she said "well okay. I can either be on top or blow you."
Decisions, decisions.
i cant text you anymore tonight, God gave me two hands for two cups
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
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